A Day in the Life of a Daycare Toilet

Of all the things I expected to see at the county fair, a toilet decorating contest was not one of them.  If only I had known about this earlier, I would have saved Toilet Week on this blog for the end of August.  The people who decorated the toilets for this contest came up with some toilet-related gags that I hadn’t come across before.

The entry to the right was my favorite, called “A Day in the Life of a Daycare Toilet.”  Every one of the items glued to this toilet has been at one time or another flushed down the toilet by a toddler.

Another remarkable entry was based on the Starship Enterprise, from Star Trek.  It was called “The Captain’s Log.”  Ah, yes, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Seeing all these elaborately decorated toilets brought two thoughts to mind.

The first thought was how they remind me of art cars, which I have seen several times in parades and at the American Visionary Art Museum.  Seeing an art car always makes me wish I had a way to make my own.  But I don’t have a garage, so it seems impractical.

The second thought is that I am about to renovate my bathroom, which means I will have an old toilet that would probably be going to a landfill, unless I found something creative to do with it.  This could make next year’s Toilet Week very interesting.

See all the toilet entries on Flickr

See other photos from the fair on Flickr

Zipper sandwich

This pouch looks just like a sandwich, unless you get close enough to notice the zippers across the top of both slices of bread.  I thought it would be fun to put my Metro SmartTrip card in it.

Using the sandwich at a Metro fare gate

As you can see, it looks like I’m using a sandwich to get in and out of the Washington subway system.

I also used it to get out of the Metro parking lot, although it’s hard to tell from this photo.  But I liked the photo so much, I’m posting it anyway.  I want to thank Bob for taking these pictures of me, which put him at risk of looking almost as ridiculous as I did.

Using the sandwich to get out of the Metro parking lot

I bought this pouch at Franklin’s Restaurant, Brewery, and General Store in Hyattsville, Maryland.  I highly recommend visiting Franklin’s.  They have many tacky treasures in their store, and lots of fun toys as well.  After shopping, you can have a brew and some good food.  If you can’t get to Hyattsville, many online stores sell the zippered sandwich, under the name “Yummypockets,” which come in taco, pizza slice, and chocolate chip cookie shapes as well.

Big Boy Scout Head

After a visit to the National Gallery in Washington, D.C. this past Sunday, I was surprised to see a big head rolling down 7th Street NW in front of the museum, and hang a left onto Constitution Avenue.  Blaring out of the speakers was John Phillip Sousa’s Liberty Bell March, better known as the theme to Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

The occasion was the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Boy Scouts of America.  Not only did this parade feature an awesome big head, but thousands of uniformed boys and adults braved intense heat for the celebration.

It’s no secret that I have a fascination with big heads.  It started when I first set eyes on the Big Heads in Buena Vista one weekend in September 2000, and culminated in a pilgrimage to Mount Rushmore in 2008.  This is the first new big head I’ve seen in a while, and I am happy to say I have a short video of it.  As I heard the ending strains of Sousa’s march, I had a mental image of the end of the Monty Python theme with its distinctive “PBBLLLTTT” and the giant bare foot coming down from the sky.  It made my day.

Video of Big Boy Scout Head

Monty Python’s Flying Circus opening theme

Patriotic Punk Pug

Here’s how I spent my Fourth of July:  I drove north to Baltimore, to the American Visionary Art Museum and watched a bunch of pets wearing silly costumes.  I love America and its kooky ways.  This event is truly a tacky treasure.

The event starts with a parade of all the pets, which are mostly dogs.  There were a few non-dog contestants, most notably a South African tortoise named Brutus.  He brought up the rear in the parade, and he did not participate in the musical chairs competition.  Yet this popular reptile won the People’s Choice award.  In Baltimore, you can’t go wrong with a reference to steamed crabs.  Throughout the competition, he could be seen slowly cruising the stone plaza, unaffected by the heat, the crowd, or barking dogs, and carrying a pot of crabs on his shell.

Brutus, the South African tortoise

This is a friendly competition with about a dozen prizes, including “Least likely to succeed as a pet,” “Your mama dresses you funny,” and “Owner and pet look-alike.”  Wilda, a service dog in training for Guiding Eyes for the Blind, was a slam dunk winner in the musical chairs competition.  As soon as the music stopped, and her owner gave her the “Sit!” command, Wilda’s was the first doggie ass to hit the pavement every time.  She has a great future as a service dog ahead of her.  The top prize went to a skinny little chihuahua dressed as Michael Jackson, complete with one glove on its front paws.

Bride and Groom Pugs

I have come to the conclusion, that pugs, as a breed, are extremely tolerant of being put in ridiculous costumes and situations.  Here’s a pair of pugs dressed as a just-married bride and groom.  Another pug was made to wear a shower cap and was wheeled around in a stroller meant to look like a bath tub with suds, while a bubble machine blew bubbles and a boom box played, “Splish, Splash.” These dogs clearly would do just about anything for their owners.

This is the third time that I’ve attended this annual event, and it’s always a great time.  My cats, Gary and Dave, have been spared this experience because they rarely leave the house, and I don’t think they have ever seen a dog, except through the window.  And get them into costumes?  I don’t think so.  In fact, except for Brutus, I believe all the other non-dog contestants were inanimate, such as a sock monkey, and Henri the Warthog, who lives in the restaurant in the museum, “Mr. Rain’s Fun House.”

For more photographs of this event, check out my Flickr set called, “Visionary Pets on Parade,” where you can see more great pets, such as a dachshund dressed as Haile Selassie, a Westie dyed green with alien antennae, and more.

2010 ALA Book Cart Drill Championship

Librarians can be tacky treasures, as was proven at the 2010 ALA Book Cart Drill Championship.  Dancing to choreographed routines, librarians pushed and pulled book carts to music, for the chance to win a gold, silver, or bronze book cart from DEMCO, the competition’s sponsor.  But I suspect most of them did it because librarians just want to have fun.  Since the American Library Association Conference was held in Washington, D.C. this year, I got to witness it for myself.

The first place winner was the team from the University of Pittsburgh School of Library and Information Science, “Dance of the Living Librarians.”  Their performance was mesmerizing.  Watch this video, and at the end, imagine the roar of the audience, which I did not capture:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruvd9nzdiKs

The second and third place winners were almost as good.  In this video, I have the third place entry first, then the second.  I don’t have the names of these teams, and if I do find out who they are, I’ll post it here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky7mCUUN630

Here is the YouTube channel with the official videos…much better quality than mine:  http://www.youtube.com/user/Circulatethefun

Ladies' Hammer, gift of Pete Marshall, June 2010

Rosie the Riveter called…she wants her arm back!

This is supposed to be a ladies’ hammer.  Certainly, judging by its heft, it probably could drive small nails.  But do women really need a hammer that’s different from what a man needs?  I have a regular hammer made by Stanley, because, let’s face it, you don’t see Home Depot selling “ladies’ nails,” do you?  You don’t look at a piece of wood, and think, “This is a piece of ladies’ wood.  I’d better go get my ladies’ hammer!”

So, why, you might ask, would anyone make a hammer specifically for ladies, especially one as bizarre as this?  In the mid-twentieth century, the main strategy for reaching out to women customers was to take a man’s product and shrink it, then offer it in “feminine” colors such as pink.  This became known as “shrink it and pink it” in marketing parlance.  Although serious marketing research eventually showed this to be an oversimplification, examples of marketing to women in this manner persist to this day.

This ladies’ hammer appears to be made of molded metal that has been painted to look like a woman’s arm.  The heart with an arrow through it tattoo is a special touch.  Veins bulging from the muscular form give the impression of strength.  The black patch on the fist is the actual peen of this hammer.   However, from an ergonomic point of view, it’s not that useful if you have a lot of nails to drive in…unless, I suppose, they are ladies’ nails.

Reverse side of hammer

Happy Jerk-Off Clown

I don’t own this clown, but I saw it at a “Bawdy Music Concert” in Takoma Park on Saturday night, May 29, 2010.  It was one of the decorations in the restroom.

The performance featured the musical talents of Regina Dentata,  Lucy Snatch, Connie Lingus, Olivia Kumtwat, and Long John Skivee.  They claimed that the concert was to raise funds for the establishment of the Prostitutes, Entertainers, and Navigators Institute of Salvation (P.E.N.I.S. for short), but in reality the concert was a fund-raiser for Jennifer Cutting’s Ocean Orchestra’s next album project, “Song of Solstice.”

The concert was an excellent opportunity to get one’s inner raunchiness out in one fell swoop.  We sang along to such classics, as “Friggin’ in the Riggin’,” “Blow the Man Down,” “Barnacle Bill the Sailor,” and more.  Even Joe Hickerson got up and sang a couple of numbers, the second of which had everyone participating, when they weren’t laughing.

Even the refreshments were naughty.  To see what I mean, check out the photos on my Flickr site:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/tackyjulie/sets/72157624049435101/

Videos:

See the Happy Jerk-Off Clown in action

See and hear the Ocean Orchestra

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

I acquired this object in a tacky gift exchange earlier this month.  It looks like a bad imitation of a Fabergé egg.  It has some heft to it, so I suspect it is meant to be a paperweight.  The gift exchange was played like the game “Greed,” where everyone who brings a gift is given a number.  The numbers are called out in order.  The first person opens one of the gifts, and everyone else has the choice of opening a new gift or stealing a gift already open.  If your gift is stolen, you can steal someone else’s.  And on it goes until all gifts are open.

No one wanted to steal this from me, even when I tried to convince people that it was the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, from the movie “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.”  After a while, I convinced myself, and so I made peace with the realization that I would be taking it home with me.  Bob had better luck, and ended up with a nice set of outhouse salt and pepper shakers that he donated to my collection of Salt and Pepper Shakers I’ll Never Use.

This paperweight is not what I would call a tacky treasure, but it motivated me to look for a clip from the movie on YouTube.  Enjoy:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOrgLj9lOwk

Skull Salt and Pepper Shakers

Here’s the latest entry in “Salt and Pepper Shakers I’ll Never Use.”  Thanks to Mark Cline, P.T. Barnum of the Blue Ridge, for bringing them to my attention.

>> More on the Skull Salt and Pepper Shakers.

Toilet Mug from Harriet Carter

I’m pleased to announce the first feature of Toilet Week, brought to you by Julie’s Tacky Treasures.  Reaction from my fans to the announcement of Toilet Week has ranged from “I’m flushed with excitement” to “What the Flush?”

All installments for Toilet Week will appear in this post, so keep coming back throughout the week of February 22-26 to see what’s new.

Monday – Toilet Mug from Harriet Carter catalog

Tuesday - Toilet Ash Tray

Wednesday – Toilet Radio by Stellarsonic

Thursday - Goodbye Cruel World

Friday - Toilet Pencil Sharpener