Before Salt and Pepper Shakers

This pair of salt and pepper shakers embodies a negative stereotype of older married couples.  And yet, with a twist of the wrist, I was able to use them to demonstrate another negative stereotype entirely.  These were a gift from Kaycee, who has an excellent eye for tacky treasures, and tackiness in general.

The “Before” side of these shakers depict a bride and groom who are young and beautiful,with lovely clothes and fine figures.  They seem unaware of the cruel fate that advancing age has in store for them.  By turning the shakers around, we see what their creator wants to teach us about the realities of time.

After Salt and Pepper Shakers

The “After” side of these shakers show a pair of old, paunchy, sloppily-dressed people.  I realize this is supposed to make me laugh at the youthful optimism of a young, about-to-be-married couple, and poke fun at the aging process.  But of course, to pull off a gag like this, one has to make some general assumptions about weddings and marriage.  And as usual, I find myself not thinking it’s so funny because my life hasn’t always followed the mainstream path.  For one thing, when my husband and I got married only a few years ago, let’s just say we were already a bit older than the age the “Before” scenario represents. However, my husband doesn’t have a trace of the paunch that the man in the “After” shakers has, and he’s got a lot more hair on his head, to boot.  As for me, you’ll never see me in a babushka, and I haven’t worn a skirt or dress since before I retired last year.

Of course, these shakers are tacky, and tackiness is never socially-conscious. But pointing out that older people can be beautiful, and can have rich love lives that are based on their inner qualities as well, just isn’t as funny as poking fun at stereotypes.

As I was photographing these, I realized that there were more than just two ways to pose these salt and pepper shakers.  You can also use them to portray May-December romances of both types; one where the husband is significantly older than the wife, and the other where the wife is significantly older than the husband.  The feminist in me is required to note that when the wife is significantly older, she is labeled a “cougar,” whereas there is no corresponding derogatory term for a husband who is significantly older than his wife.  This drove me to do some ten-minute research on the Internet where I found this article, which states the issues rather clearly:  Don’t Call Me a Cougar – Rejecting the Cougar Stereotype.

A Rubber Duck Nativity Set

http://tackytreasures.com/seasonal/rubberduck.html

Two Headless Chickens

http://tackytreasures.com/topics/miketheheadless.html

Three Naked Santas

http://tackytreasures.com/seasonal/nakedsanta.html

Four Beer Can Hats

Five Pooping Reindeer

http://tackytreasures.com/seasonal/reindeer.html

Six Leopard Fezzes

Seven Tacky Sweat Shirts

Eight Rubber Band Vests

http://tackytreasures.com/seasonal/reindeer.html

Nine "Pick Your Nose" Cups

http://www.perpetualkid.com/pick-your-nose-party-cups.aspx

Ten Lords A-Leaping

http://www.tackytreasures.com/top/jesusplayingfootball.html

Eleven Santa Pinatas

http://www.tackytreasures.com/seasonal/santapinata.html

Twelve Maids A-Milking

http://www.tackytreasures.com/topics/mugs.html

And if you haven’t had enough by now, then be sure to visit the Kitsch Bitch’s version of the Twelve Days of Kitschmas:  http://thekitschbitsch.blogspot.com/2010/12/twelve-days-of-kitschmas.html

Entrance to the Tune Inn

The Tune Inn is back.  This historic bar, with the second-oldest liquor license in the city, has been renovated following a kitchen fire in June of this year.  My first impression, which was echoed by my drinking companions, was, “It looks the same, only cleaner.”  Back on the walls, in almost exactly the same places, are years of memorabilia and taxidermy.  Yes, the taxidermy deer butt has returned to its place over the door to the men’s room.

Deer butt over the men's room door

Capitol Hill is not where you’d expect to find a dive like the Tune Inn, but I’m glad it’s there.  It’s an oasis of tackiness close to the Capitol, where there seems to be a lot of people with a bloated sense of their own importance.  The Tune Inn is a down to earth place where people get together to eat and drink (mostly to drink), and just be themselves.  That’s why I used to like to go there for lunch occasionally when I worked at the Library of Congress.  The Tune Inn reopened the day after I retired, which one of my friends pointed out was evidence of a conservation of tackiness principle at work, at least on Capitol Hill.

It’s a real neighborhood bar, and now that the Hawk and Dove is being transformed into a trendy bar, we need the Tune Inn more than ever.  I recently visited it with some of my former colleagues at the Library, and we couldn’t have picked a better place for conversation and camaraderie.  Long live the Tune Inn!

The Tune Inn is located at 331 Pennsylvania Ave SE, (between S 3rd St & S 4th St), Washington, DC 20003

Tune Inn Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Tune-Inn-Restaurant/121740594531787?sk=info

Check out this video from the Food Network’s “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” at the Tune Inn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0Aeu5i8f9w

More photos of the interior:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/tackyjulie/sets/72157628442631385/

Easter Island Head

What I really wanted was a concrete dinosaur, preferably a Tyrannosaurus Rex, about three feet tall, for my garden.  On a recent visit to the Shenandoah Valley, I stopped in at Harper’s Lawn Ornaments and Water Gardens, and was informed by a salesman that they do not make concrete dinosaurs.  He suggested a dragon instead, but I said it wouldn’t be the same.

Apparently, Harper’s is the only company making concrete sculptures within 200 miles of Harrisonburg, Virginia.  That means that even if I do find a concrete dinosaur, the shipping is going to be expensive, unless I am willing to drive to pick it up.  However, Harper’s also carries an Easter Island head which is 32 inches tall which I may consider as an alternative.

Even if I didn’t find the garden sculpture of my dreams, a visit to Harper’s has plenty to offer a photographer such as myself, who loves the kitschy nature of lawn and garden statuary.

Dragons (NOT the same as dinosaurs)

Ladies in waiting

More Easter Island Heads

Weeping Angel

Lazy elves

and finally…

Little boys taking a whiz

You can see more of my photos from this trip to Harper’s, and a previous trip in 2008, on my Flickr site:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tackyjulie/sets/72157628419903833/

Mary Jane mosaic shoe, purchased at Island Artworks, Ocracoke Island, NC in November 2011

At a gallery on Ocracoke Island, I purchased this remarkable Mary Jane shoe, adorned with china shards and images of the Madonna.  Note the “Miraculous Medal” of the Blessed Mother — it reminds me of the one that I was required to wear everyday as a student at St. Catherine Labouré elementary school.  You will also find a tiny thumbnail of the Madonna del Granduca by Raphael.  The opening of the shoe is festooned with a cheap glow-in-the-dark plastic rosary, and if you peek inside, you will see a vivid image of Our Lady of Guadalupe on the inner sole (soul?) of the shoe.  This work of art manages to be playful and yet not disrespectful of the Virgin Mary.

Detail of Mary Jane mosaic shoe

The shoe was created by Susan M. Dodd, who is also an author.  According to Kathryn O’Neal (owner of Island Artworks), Dodd moved to Ocracoke several years ago, and has made it her home.  Prior to that, she had taught writing at Harvard and Cornell.  There were some other mosaic works by her in the gallery, but this one spoke to me because of its religious theme.

I hestitate to call this a tacky treasure, because it is also what I would consider fine art.  However, I feel that it belongs here because of the statement I feel that it makes about the kitschification (if I may coin a word) of Christian religion.

Our Lady of Guadalupe on the inner sole of the shoe

You will find quite a few Christian objects here at Julie’s Tacky Treasures.  I hope people understand that I mean no disrespect to Jesus Christ by making fun of these objects.  It’s just that I’m constantly surprised with the way some Christians use kitsch to express their faith.  When I see people wearing t-shirts with Christian slogans (“Jesus – The Real Thing,” “WWJD,” “got jesus?”), I wonder, what are they trying to accomplish?  It can’t be to convince others to convert to Christianity; I see people wearing Dallas Cowboys t-shirts from time to time, but they never make me consider switching from being a Redskins fan to a Cowboys fan.  It does makes me wonder if it’s good for Christianity to bring religious beliefs down to the same level as loyalty for a particular sports team, however.

Female Form Guitar

Does this guitar make my ass look big?  Actually, this one might make my ass look smaller in comparison.  However, if you play this guitar in public, you might wonder if your audience was more interested in your butt than your awesome riffs.  And note the silhouette of a martini glass for a sound hole.  I wonder if this was modeled after a woman with a martini glass tattoo on her back? 

This guitar was custom-made for a client, and the luthier who made it will happily make it available to others as a reproduction.  So, he’s sold one of these creepy-looking guitars, and is ready to spread the creepiness around!  Check out his Etsy Shop, and be sure to look at his other instruments.  How would like a ukulele that looks like an apple, a rocket ship, a snail, or Pac Man?

http://www.etsy.com/listing/72957355/female-form-6-string-acoustic-guitar

See and hear this guitar in action:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QkbY22j4JA

Check out previous tacky holiday gift suggestions at http://tackytreasures.com/blog/category/seasonal-tacky/tacky-holiday-shopping-guide

Birding from the futon

I used to keep a couch list of all the birds I observed from the comfort of my living room couch.  Now that I have a newly-renovated addition with big windows and a comfy futon, I am going to start keeping a futon list.

Most birders keep a life list of all the bird species that they have ever seen.  Not me…when I see a a bird that I’ve never seen before, I get excited.  It’s one of the joys of birding.  If I did keep a life list, and I were to see a bird that I thought was new to me, it would be a let-down to check my list and discover that it’s not.  Not keeping a life list means I’ll have more exciting birding experiences, simply because my memory isn’t that great. Hey, I just discovered a silver lining to the aging process!

View from the futon

The futon list may not have as many birds on it as the couch list did.  The window out the living room faces approximately five wooded acres and a system of storm water management ponds, which attracts many water birds.  The window out the addition on the back of my house faces the backyard, as well as several of my neighbors’ backyards.  The futon list will probably not include ducks, geese, or herons, but who knows?  Stranger things have happened.  The great thing about these lists is that they remind me of how much wildlife there is in my neighborhood.  It’s like counting my blessings!

The Futon List (last updated November 15, 2011):

blue jay
carolina wren
cardinal
chickadee
downy woodpecker
goldfinch
hairy woodpecker
house sparrow
hummingbird
junco
mourning dove
pileated woodpecker
red-bellied woodpecker
red-shouldered hawk
red-winged blackbird
robin
song sparrow
starling
tufted titmouse
white-breasted nuthatch
white-throated sparrow

Easter Island Head in Kensington, Maryland

In Kensington, Maryland, there is a replica of an Easter Island Head looking south toward Washington, D.C.  It was created about 15 or 20 years ago to appear on  a high school parade float sponsored by a local gas station.  For many years, it stood across the street from the Wheaton-Glenmont police station.  However, it was recently discovered, nicely repainted, at the Getty gas station in Kensington.  Unfortunately, it’s got a nasty gash on the side of its head.  Who would do such a thing?  I think it’s sad that some people don’t respect and value what little quirkiness we have in the D.C. area.

I, for one, have had an obsession with Big Heads for some time.  Whether it is the magnificently tacky Mount Rushmore, or the questionable Crazy Horse Monument, or the ridiculous Presidents Park; we Americans can’t seem to shake our need for gigantic noggins.  So, you vandals in Montgomery County, leave our big head alone!

Mystery Hole

Right at a bend in Rt. 60 in Ansted, West Virginia, stands a wildly-colored Quonset hut with a Volkswagen Beetle crashed into it.  True to the grand tradition of the American roadside attraction, the Mystery Hole does everything it can to draw you in.  If it takes a wrecked car, a clown, a gorilla, a bear, and garish paint job, so be it.  It’s just a mile west of Hawks Nest State Park, and if you are in the area anyway, it’s worth a visit.

New River Gorge mural

Just the outdoor display of tackiness was enough to satisfy me.  There was something about the place that brought to mind Mark Cline, although I know this is not one of his attractions.  A snarling bear sits on top of one side of the building.  There’s a mural on the side of the building by artist Sherd Maynard, Jr. of the New River Gorge bridge.  A creature that looks like a cross between a pig and a human, with a snake slithering around its shoulders, stands guard.  The Volkswagen Beetle has “Redneck Taxi” painted on the outside.  There’s a little flying saucer painted on the side of the building.  Are they implying that the strange effects of the Mystery Hole are caused by extraterrestrial beings?

See the Mystery Hole

Upon taking the tour (only $6.00, such a deal), you agree not to take photos inside the Mystery Hole.  The tour guide leads a group of no more than eight people down a ramp which takes you past the gift shop and then down below. For the next ten or fifteen minutes, it’s half West Virginia hillbilly humor, and half demonstration of how the Mystery Hole “defies gravity.”  While I didn’t find it as amazing as promised, it was certainly an entertaining experience.  I won’t spoil it for others, but I think I know what the secret of the Mystery Hole is.  It’s less about gravity, and more about satisfying people’s desire to believe that there are some things that can’t be explained.

When the tour is over, you exit the Mystery Hole — wait for it — through the gift shop.

More information about The Mystery Hole:

• Mystery Hole (official website)
• More photos of the Mystery Hole on Flickr

Alien in the crosswalk?

UPDATE:  Since I posted this, I have learned that this character is known as “stikman” and is the work of an urban guerilla artist known only as “Bob,” who occasionally visits D.C.

On my way to work, which takes me by foot from Union Station to the Library of Congress, I have begun to notice these little critters in the crosswalks.  They look like tiny space aliens made out of the reflective material used for lane markings.  Does anyone know the story behind them?  I wonder if they have popped up in other parts of D.C.?  If you’ve seen one, drop me a line with the location.  (Use the “Contact” link on http://tackytreasures.com/)

So far, the ones I’ve seen are only white and yellow, which further supports the argument that someone got creative with traffic striping material.  They are cute little figures about six inches long, and they aren’t identical.  Check out this Flickr set with the ones that I photographed this morning: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tackyjulie/sets/72157626888853267/ And as you do, try to picture me standing in the middle of a crosswalk with a camera pointed toward the pavement.  Pedestrians walked by me as if I wasn’t there (that’s typical of DC; I once wore a purple wig on the subway, and no one acted as if anything was unusual.)  Cars had to wait to make the right turn on red while I did my photo shoot, but none of them blew their horn (that’s not typical DC behavior!)

They remind me a little of the “Toynbee Tiles,” which first appeared in Philadelphia in the 1980s, and spread to Washington, D.C., and other major cities of the North and South America.  Those where more like graffiti with the message, “Toynbee ideas in Kubrick’s 2001 resurrect dead on Jupiter.”  You can read more about this phenomenon in Wikipedia:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toynbee_tiles.  Also there was a website devoted to the Toynbee Tiles that is no longer maintained.  Thank goodness that Wayback Machine at the Internet Archives has saved it here:  http://web.archive.org/web/20071218004343/http://www.toynbee.net/

stikman articles:

• http://www.woostercollective.com/2005/09/moniker_stories_part_ix.html
• http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/18/AR2008091803439.html