A Rubber Duck Nativity Set

http://tackytreasures.com/seasonal/rubberduck.html

Two Headless Chickens

http://tackytreasures.com/topics/miketheheadless.html

Three Naked Santas

http://tackytreasures.com/seasonal/nakedsanta.html

Four Beer Can Hats

Five Pooping Reindeer

http://tackytreasures.com/seasonal/reindeer.html

Six Leopard Fezzes

Seven Tacky Sweat Shirts

Eight Rubber Band Vests

http://tackytreasures.com/seasonal/reindeer.html

Nine "Pick Your Nose" Cups

http://www.perpetualkid.com/pick-your-nose-party-cups.aspx

Ten Lords A-Leaping

http://www.tackytreasures.com/top/jesusplayingfootball.html

Eleven Santa Pinatas

http://www.tackytreasures.com/seasonal/santapinata.html

Twelve Maids A-Milking

http://www.tackytreasures.com/topics/mugs.html

And if you haven’t had enough by now, then be sure to visit the Kitsch Bitch’s version of the Twelve Days of Kitschmas:  http://thekitschbitsch.blogspot.com/2010/12/twelve-days-of-kitschmas.html

Entrance to the Tune Inn

The Tune Inn is back.  This historic bar, with the second-oldest liquor license in the city, has been renovated following a kitchen fire in June of this year.  My first impression, which was echoed by my drinking companions, was, “It looks the same, only cleaner.”  Back on the walls, in almost exactly the same places, are years of memorabilia and taxidermy.  Yes, the taxidermy deer butt has returned to its place over the door to the men’s room.

Deer butt over the men's room door

Capitol Hill is not where you’d expect to find a dive like the Tune Inn, but I’m glad it’s there.  It’s an oasis of tackiness close to the Capitol, where there seems to be a lot of people with a bloated sense of their own importance.  The Tune Inn is a down to earth place where people get together to eat and drink (mostly to drink), and just be themselves.  That’s why I used to like to go there for lunch occasionally when I worked at the Library of Congress.  The Tune Inn reopened the day after I retired, which one of my friends pointed out was evidence of a conservation of tackiness principle at work, at least on Capitol Hill.

It’s a real neighborhood bar, and now that the Hawk and Dove is being transformed into a trendy bar, we need the Tune Inn more than ever.  I recently visited it with some of my former colleagues at the Library, and we couldn’t have picked a better place for conversation and camaraderie.  Long live the Tune Inn!

The Tune Inn is located at 331 Pennsylvania Ave SE, (between S 3rd St & S 4th St), Washington, DC 20003

Tune Inn Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Tune-Inn-Restaurant/121740594531787?sk=info

Check out this video from the Food Network’s “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” at the Tune Inn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0Aeu5i8f9w

More photos of the interior:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/tackyjulie/sets/72157628442631385/

Mary Jane mosaic shoe, purchased at Island Artworks, Ocracoke Island, NC in November 2011

At a gallery on Ocracoke Island, I purchased this remarkable Mary Jane shoe, adorned with china shards and images of the Madonna.  Note the “Miraculous Medal” of the Blessed Mother — it reminds me of the one that I was required to wear everyday as a student at St. Catherine Labouré elementary school.  You will also find a tiny thumbnail of the Madonna del Granduca by Raphael.  The opening of the shoe is festooned with a cheap glow-in-the-dark plastic rosary, and if you peek inside, you will see a vivid image of Our Lady of Guadalupe on the inner sole (soul?) of the shoe.  This work of art manages to be playful and yet not disrespectful of the Virgin Mary.

Detail of Mary Jane mosaic shoe

The shoe was created by Susan M. Dodd, who is also an author.  According to Kathryn O’Neal (owner of Island Artworks), Dodd moved to Ocracoke several years ago, and has made it her home.  Prior to that, she had taught writing at Harvard and Cornell.  There were some other mosaic works by her in the gallery, but this one spoke to me because of its religious theme.

I hestitate to call this a tacky treasure, because it is also what I would consider fine art.  However, I feel that it belongs here because of the statement I feel that it makes about the kitschification (if I may coin a word) of Christian religion.

Our Lady of Guadalupe on the inner sole of the shoe

You will find quite a few Christian objects here at Julie’s Tacky Treasures.  I hope people understand that I mean no disrespect to Jesus Christ by making fun of these objects.  It’s just that I’m constantly surprised with the way some Christians use kitsch to express their faith.  When I see people wearing t-shirts with Christian slogans (“Jesus – The Real Thing,” “WWJD,” “got jesus?”), I wonder, what are they trying to accomplish?  It can’t be to convince others to convert to Christianity; I see people wearing Dallas Cowboys t-shirts from time to time, but they never make me consider switching from being a Redskins fan to a Cowboys fan.  It does makes me wonder if it’s good for Christianity to bring religious beliefs down to the same level as loyalty for a particular sports team, however.

Easter Island Head in Kensington, Maryland

In Kensington, Maryland, there is a replica of an Easter Island Head looking south toward Washington, D.C.  It was created about 15 or 20 years ago to appear on  a high school parade float sponsored by a local gas station.  For many years, it stood across the street from the Wheaton-Glenmont police station.  However, it was recently discovered, nicely repainted, at the Getty gas station in Kensington.  Unfortunately, it’s got a nasty gash on the side of its head.  Who would do such a thing?  I think it’s sad that some people don’t respect and value what little quirkiness we have in the D.C. area.

I, for one, have had an obsession with Big Heads for some time.  Whether it is the magnificently tacky Mount Rushmore, or the questionable Crazy Horse Monument, or the ridiculous Presidents Park; we Americans can’t seem to shake our need for gigantic noggins.  So, you vandals in Montgomery County, leave our big head alone!

Mystery Hole

Right at a bend in Rt. 60 in Ansted, West Virginia, stands a wildly-colored Quonset hut with a Volkswagen Beetle crashed into it.  True to the grand tradition of the American roadside attraction, the Mystery Hole does everything it can to draw you in.  If it takes a wrecked car, a clown, a gorilla, a bear, and garish paint job, so be it.  It’s just a mile west of Hawks Nest State Park, and if you are in the area anyway, it’s worth a visit.

New River Gorge mural

Just the outdoor display of tackiness was enough to satisfy me.  There was something about the place that brought to mind Mark Cline, although I know this is not one of his attractions.  A snarling bear sits on top of one side of the building.  There’s a mural on the side of the building by artist Sherd Maynard, Jr. of the New River Gorge bridge.  A creature that looks like a cross between a pig and a human, with a snake slithering around its shoulders, stands guard.  The Volkswagen Beetle has “Redneck Taxi” painted on the outside.  There’s a little flying saucer painted on the side of the building.  Are they implying that the strange effects of the Mystery Hole are caused by extraterrestrial beings?

See the Mystery Hole

Upon taking the tour (only $6.00, such a deal), you agree not to take photos inside the Mystery Hole.  The tour guide leads a group of no more than eight people down a ramp which takes you past the gift shop and then down below. For the next ten or fifteen minutes, it’s half West Virginia hillbilly humor, and half demonstration of how the Mystery Hole “defies gravity.”  While I didn’t find it as amazing as promised, it was certainly an entertaining experience.  I won’t spoil it for others, but I think I know what the secret of the Mystery Hole is.  It’s less about gravity, and more about satisfying people’s desire to believe that there are some things that can’t be explained.

When the tour is over, you exit the Mystery Hole — wait for it — through the gift shop.

More information about The Mystery Hole:

• Mystery Hole (official website)
• More photos of the Mystery Hole on Flickr

Fast Rooster, an oil painting by Bob Cantor

Congratulations to Bob Cantor, whose pencil sharpener collection was recently featured on the website “Obsessionistas: collectors and their collections.”  Unfortunately, I can’t post the link to Facebook, because for some bizarre reason they’ve flagged it as abusive.  But I can post it to my blog, and post this link to Facebook.  I hope you enjoy Bob’s little bit of fame.

http://www.obsessionistas.co.uk/collections/2011/6/18/pencil-sharpeners-0031.html

P.S.  Thanks, Bob, for the plug in your entry!

Fifi Le Pink Poodle

The Kinetic Sculpture Race is hosted by the American Visionary Art Museum.  The sculptures are amphibious, human-powered works of art.  The race covers 15 miles through the streets of Baltimore, and even a little dip into the Chesapeake Bay.

This year’s race was fantastic in every sense of the word, from the sculptures to the attendees to the city sights all along the race.

The best sculptures where the ones that combined artistry with engineering skill.  Watching these wonderful works of art navigate the streets of Baltimore, I was struck with how much thought and energy must have gone into their creation.

Go Ask Alice (winner of the People's Choice Award)

“Go Ask Alice” was a 35-long blue caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland.  Not only was it strikingly beautiful, but seaworthy, too!  Okay, so it strayed off course due to unfavorable winds.  But it floated, and after the water entry leg of the race, it was able to complete the rest of the race.  It was an engineering marvel, which also ejected “cat-a-poop” from its rear end.  It was an empty toilet paper roll with candy inside…a Tootsie Roll, appropriately enough.  As it floated by, you could hear the song of the same name by Jefferson Airplane.

Pussy Galore (Best Pit Crew)

“Pussy Galore” was not an homage to James Bond, but to the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons.  The detail on this sculpture was amazing.  Kitties everywhere:  on the carpet on the sofa, on the TV set, and flying through the air for no apparent reason.  It was powered by four people in cat costumes on bicycles attached to the front.  When it came time for the water entry, the bicycles were raised by a winch so that they stayed out of the water.  It may have been a little bit unbalanced in the water, but by shifting the kitties around, the proper distribution of weight was restored, and it did not sink.

Am-Ish Sin Caballo (Engineering Award)

“Am-Ish Sin Caballo” was an Amish buggy with pontoons on the side.  If you’ve never seen a buggy float before, here was your chance.  I’m certainly never going to forget it.  I never figured out the name of this sculpture.  My best guess is that “sin caballo” is Amish for “with pontoons.”

Other notable sculptures included a giant brain called “Lobe Trotter,” a snail named “Margot the Escargot,” “Bob” from Takoma Park, and “Fifi Le Pink Poodle.”  You can find out more about the race results at http://www.kineticbaltimore.com/, which is also where I picked up the valuable Spectator’s Guide to the race.

Well-dressed spectators

There was more to look at than kinetic sculptures, however.  People dressed for this event.  Even I wore a red fez and a shirt with picture of a monkey wearing a red fez.  But that was nothing compared to the outfits I saw at the race.

I took many pictures, and some videos, and they be viewed by going to my Flickr set called Baltimore Kinetic Sculpture Race, 2011.  I can’t wait for the next race, and I’m already thinking about my costume.

Water tower in Montgomery Hills

Once upon a time in the 1970s, the Montgomery Hills neighborhood of Silver Spring, Maryland got a new water tower.  Not only was it enormous, but it was painted an unsightly bright orange.  One day, large black letters appeared across its middle which said, “The Great Pumpkin,” no doubt a commentary on the water tower’s appearance, and of course, a reference to the TV special in which Linus van Pelt spends Halloween in a pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin to rise again.

The Great Pumpkin

In a way, the Great Pumpkin has risen again.  Eventually the tower was painted over with a pale blue color, and the Great Pumpkin of Montgomery Hills was forgotten, except by people like me who like a good prank.  Now, many years later, the words are becoming visible again, thanks to the deterioration of the pale blue paint job.

I wonder if anyone has a photograph of the tower when it was orange and the words were still clearly visible across its mid-section?  If so, I would love to see it.

Bobbing skeleton head salt and pepper shakers, eBay purchase October 2010 (just in time for Halloween!)

Here’s just another set of salt and pepper shakers that make you ask, “WTF?”  They are a pair of skulls mounted on a lovely ceramic base decorated with roses.  My theory is that these shakers belonged to Jerry Garcia’s grandmother.  When he was discussing the cover art for the Skull and Roses album, he told Alton Kelly, “My nana had the most awesome salt and pepper shakers.  Think you could put them on an album cover?”  Well, it IS just a theory.

To see the bobbing head action, go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/tackyjulie/5119372734/

Flashing Witch, a four inch high figurine bought at a flea market in Northern Virginia

One could make the case for Halloween being one of the tackiest holidays.  It certainly is more so when you celebrate it as adult.  When I was young, it was sort of about having the best costume, but really all I could think of was scoring the most candy.  We would go trick or treating with paper grocery bags, and after covering as much of the neighborhood and beyond as we could, come home with our sacks half-full, at least.  For kids like me, who went to Catholic school, November 1 was a holy day of obligation, so we didn’t have to go to school.  We had all day to sort our candy, make trades with our siblings, and of course, eat it.

Now when I think of Halloween, I just wish I could come up with the coolest costume (the tackier, the better), and try to leave the candy to the kids.  We’ll be home to hand out treats, and hope for no tricks and a few leftovers.

Enjoy these Halloween flashbacks from Julie’s Tacky Treasures.

http://www.tackytreasures.com/seasonal/halloween2.html