Tacky German Postcard, purchased March 2012 at the Mt. Vernon Antique Center

I wish I’d had this postcard for last year’s Toilet Week.  It would have added an international flair to the event.  It depicts a man with a bottle of schnapps in his hand about to flush himself down a toilet.  The caption reads, “My life’s last station hangs on this chain.”  Wow, that is certainly more clever than what we Americans usually come up with:  “Goodbye cruel world!”

This reminds me that my first encounter with the concept of tackiness involved postcards.  Way back when I was in college, one of my friends conducted a tacky postcard contest.  People sent her the tackiest ones that they could find, and after a while, she would declare a winner.  The first year I remember this contest happening, the winner was the picture of a dead cowboy in the desert with a vulture on his back, with the caption, “The End of the Road.”  Ah, memories!

I found the tacky German postcard at the Mount Vernon Antique Center while on a tacky quest.  The Tacky Treasures Road Show is coming up soon, and I hoped that day for a big find.  And in fact, I did find something fabulously tacky, but unfortunately it was way out of my price range.  It was a stuffed macaque monkey in its own glass display case, holding a small ceramic pitcher and a red wine glass.  The sticker price was an unbelievable $3,500.00.  Even when the sales person said helpfully, “It’s 30% off today,” there was no way that I could afford it.  On the other hand, at that price, I don’t think it’s going anywhere soon, and I might just head back to Mt. Vernon one of these days to visit it.  Unfortunately, I do not have a photo of the monkey worth posting.  My cellphone camera is horrible, and most antique malls actually forbid the use of cameras.  The only reason I took a shot of the monkey with my phone was in case someone doubted my story and I needed proof.

Back to the tacky German postcard…it’s now on display in my downstairs bathroom with rest of my toilet and outhouse collection.  Thanks to John Heins for the translation of the caption of the postcard.

A Day in the Life of a Daycare Toilet

Of all the things I expected to see at the county fair, a toilet decorating contest was not one of them.  If only I had known about this earlier, I would have saved Toilet Week on this blog for the end of August.  The people who decorated the toilets for this contest came up with some toilet-related gags that I hadn’t come across before.

The entry to the right was my favorite, called “A Day in the Life of a Daycare Toilet.”  Every one of the items glued to this toilet has been at one time or another flushed down the toilet by a toddler.

Another remarkable entry was based on the Starship Enterprise, from Star Trek.  It was called “The Captain’s Log.”  Ah, yes, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Seeing all these elaborately decorated toilets brought two thoughts to mind.

The first thought was how they remind me of art cars, which I have seen several times in parades and at the American Visionary Art Museum.  Seeing an art car always makes me wish I had a way to make my own.  But I don’t have a garage, so it seems impractical.

The second thought is that I am about to renovate my bathroom, which means I will have an old toilet that would probably be going to a landfill, unless I found something creative to do with it.  This could make next year’s Toilet Week very interesting.

See all the toilet entries on Flickr

See other photos from the fair on Flickr

Toilet Mug from Harriet Carter

I’m pleased to announce the first feature of Toilet Week, brought to you by Julie’s Tacky Treasures.  Reaction from my fans to the announcement of Toilet Week has ranged from “I’m flushed with excitement” to “What the Flush?”

All installments for Toilet Week will appear in this post, so keep coming back throughout the week of February 22-26 to see what’s new.

Monday – Toilet Mug from Harriet Carter catalog

Tuesday - Toilet Ash Tray

Wednesday – Toilet Radio by Stellarsonic

Thursday - Goodbye Cruel World

Friday - Toilet Pencil Sharpener

Billy Kan / Billy Kan't

The Discovery Channel may have its “Shark Week,” but Julie’s Tacky Treasures is going to attempt its first “Toilet Week.”  And you thought the bibliography of farting was tasteless.  Starting Monday, February 22, I will feature a different toilet-related tacky treasure every day, for your enjoyment.

Tackily yours,

Julie