Abbie, I mean, Miss Abigail shows great enthusiasm in sharing her story of collecting and a sort of notoriety which resulted
Abbie Grotke is a friend and colleague at work who, like me, has a rich life outside our place of employ. She has gone from a collector of old books on etiquette, home economics, and marriage manuals to a web author to a newspaper columnist to published author to the subject of an off-Broadway play based on all of the above.
Today, at the Enoch Pratt Light Street Branch (where another friend of mine, Jan Westervelt, is the branch librarian), Abbie regaled a small but enthusiastic audience with her stories about the amazing trajectory of her life that all started with a collecting obsession. In addition to being treated to an entertaining talk, I felt somewhat validated in my own collecting habits.
I have reviewed Abbie’s book, Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, and Marriage already, so you can read what I had to say about it here. But I will say that her hilarious review of etiquette and romance through the last couple of centuries is well worth the read. At times, the advice makes you want to howl at its naivété or its inappropriateness for modern times. Other times, it makes you think, “some things never change.” Either way, her breezy style makes it a fun read. The book is available at Amazon.com.
There are two websites for Miss Abigail: Abbie’s original site, and the site that was created for the play. Here both URLs:
http://www.missabigail.com/
http://www.missabigailsguide.com/
More photos from today’s talk can be found in this set in my Flickr photostream. You won’t want to miss some of the book covers.
>> More Books and Recordings
Water tower in Montgomery Hills
Once upon a time in the 1970s, the Montgomery Hills neighborhood of Silver Spring, Maryland got a new water tower. Not only was it enormous, but it was painted an unsightly bright orange. One day, large black letters appeared across its middle which said, “The Great Pumpkin,” no doubt a commentary on the water tower’s appearance, and of course, a reference to the TV special in which Linus van Pelt spends Halloween in a pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin to rise again.
The Great Pumpkin
In a way, the Great Pumpkin has risen again. Eventually the tower was painted over with a pale blue color, and the Great Pumpkin of Montgomery Hills was forgotten, except by people like me who like a good prank. Now, many years later, the words are becoming visible again, thanks to the deterioration of the pale blue paint job.
I wonder if anyone has a photograph of the tower when it was orange and the words were still clearly visible across its mid-section? If so, I would love to see it.
Mt. St. Helens salt and pepper shaker
This salt and pepper shaker set attempts to commemorate the natural disaster that was the eruption of Mount St. Helens in 1980. It is made from actual volcanic ash from the event. When the little shaker is stacked on top of the other, it shows the volcano as it looked before it exploded. When it is taken off, the set shows what it looked like after it had spewed volcanic ash, steam, molten lava, and tons of boulders. The ash plume alone reached 80,000 feet in the air, and was deposited in a number of states. After the eruption was all over, 57 people were killed. The after effects to the environment and the economy were felt for years afterward. Somehow, a pair of salt and pepper shakers seems rather trivial for the enormity of the tragedy.
More photos:
>> More Salt and Pepper Shakers I’ll Never Use
The Ocean Krewe at the Takoma Park Mardi Gras Pub Crawl
On Tuesday night March 8, Bob and I participated in the first annual Takoma Park Mardi Gras Pub Crawl. We went out with Jennifer Cutting (whose idea it was) and her friends to celebrate Mardi Gras in Takoma Park. The week before, Jennifer had given us a song to learn, called “Vive L’Amour,” or “Mon Aimable Brune.” It’s a traditional Cajun tune. We went over to her house the Sunday before to rehearse and to get our costumes. I brought a triangle and my banjo ukulele. I didn’t think that the triangle fit the music well, so I learned the chords to the song. Bob brought his shaky egg. We worked on the song so much that it was stuck in our heads for days after. Even now, I’m afraid to listen to the song again.
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Inflatable snowman hunter, seen in the Forest Glen area of Silver Spring, Maryland
Out for a walk on this sunny but cold Christmas Eve, I came across an abominable snowman of a different sort. I’m not a big fan of giant, inflatable yard decorations in the first place. But a snowman in a blaze orange hat, camouflage vest, and carrying a rifle is just too tacky. And to make things worse, it’s next to a giant inflatable assemblage of adorable wildlife.
To make matters worse, on the other side of this yard, which is not that big, there’s another giant inflatable. This one is a snow globe with Santa flying in his sleigh, pulled by a couple of reindeer. So, when the hunter snowman is finished knocking off the deer and raccoons at close range, is he going to go for Santa’s reindeer? I wonder what the small children of my neighborhood must think of this display. I hope they have visions of sugarplums tonight, and not visions of dead reindeer in their neighbor’s lawn.
More tacky photos of this display, plus Christmas around our house:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tackyjulie/sets/72157625539489637/
Handerpants
These tighty-whiteys for your hands are just too much! I can’t top the promotional information on their website, so just go there for an informative video on all the uses for Handerpants™. Suffice it to say, if you give these as Christmas presents, you will never be forgotten.
http://www.handerpants.com/
Pet High Chair from Hammacher Schlemmer
While writing about the dogbrella (see previous post), I found another ridiculous pet-related item, the Pet High Chair. Oh, for goodness sakes! The idea of a pet being a “member of the family” has gone too far. Well, of course they are members of the family. But still, they are not human members of the family. Does anyone know a dog that would sit through a meal like this? Of course not! That’s why there are two tethers that go up to the dog’s collar, to keep little Fluffy in place. That’s just cruel. I think if a human just has to have a meal with a dog, that he or she should get down on the floor with their food bowl. And to repeat something I said in the Dogbrella post — apparently there’s only one size, so if you have a Great Dane you’re out of luck.
Dogbrella, from Hammacher Schlemmer
Here’s a tacky holiday present for the dog owner on your shopping list: the Dogbrella. Presumably, it keeps the dog from getting wet while out an a walk. What it doesn’t protect either the dog or the owner from is looking ridiculous. I would like to know if anyone out there has actually used one, or seen one in use. It seems to me that the dog walker would have to keep the leash at a right angle to the dogbrella at all times, or it wouldn’t stay fully over the dog. Also, that the dog walker’s legs would constantly be bumping into the dogbrella as he walked. Perhaps it would be easier to dry the dog off with a towel when they come in from a walk. Or get the dog a raincoat!
Apparently there’s only one size, so if you have a Great Dane you’re out of luck.
The Only Complete Swiss Army Knife
Now this is just ridiculous. The whole point, if you’ll pardon the pun, of a Swiss Army knife is to have a variety of tools at your disposal, and still fit in your pocket. But with 87 different tools, this couldn’t possibly fit in your pocket. Or if it did, it would invite certain comments along the lines of, “Is that a Swiss Army knife in your pocket, our are you just happy to see me?” This has everything from a seven knife blades, to screwdrivers, a fish scaler, a shotgun choke tube tool, and a toothpick. Really, a person is supposed to bring that crazy mess up to their face, just to pick their teeth? But what is really insane about this is that it was offered in the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog for $1,400.00! For that kind of money, I could buy individual all the tools I needed from the list of 87, have money left over to buy a tool box to keep them in. And none of them would have to be attached to 86 other tools!
Four-in-one tool from Harriet Carter
On the other end of the spectrum, there is this four-in-one tool was offered by Harriet Carter a few years ago. It was a relative bargain at just $9.98. Even though it’s almost a stupid-looking as the Swiss Army knife pictured above, I think it was probably easier to use.
Sadly, neither of these items are in the catalogs any more. They both would be certifiably tacky Christmas presents.
Holiday shopping time has arrived, and if you’re like me, you dread going near a shopping mall during the craziness: the crowds, the incessant Christmas carols (which started just after Halloween), and the advertising messages telling people they need to spend, Spend, SPEND! What, in this economy? Thank goodness that catalogs and the Internet have really helped with the first two. You can sit in the privacy of your home, playing whatever music YOU want to hear, and order presents online. It’s your choice if you want to spend a little or a lot.
Pity the poor mailman this time of year, bringing dozens of heavy, glossy-paper catalogs to every household, day in and day out, from now until Christmas. My house gets about a half a dozen catalogs a week, just from L.L. Bean, Eddie Bauer, and Land’s End. I get other catalogs, too, and some of them just make me scratch my head in wonder. Some of the things they sell are just…tacky. But there’s two kinds of tacky.
Let’s just say that the moderately priced catalogs are predictable in their gift selection — sweaters, books, jewelry, etc. It’s the ones on either extreme of the price spectrum that feature eye-rollingly bizarre potential presents. The catalogs with the lowest prices (e.g., Harriet Carter) always have a few items that are cheap and tasteless. But the high-end catalogs (e.g., Hammacher Schlemmer) have also surprised me with gift ideas that are expensive and tasteless. Notice the commonality here? From this observation springs this year’s Tacky Holiday Shopping Guide. I’ll be making tacky shopping recommendation in the next few weeks, and posting them here.
If you have seen any spectacularly tacky items in catalogs (online or in print), feel free to bring them to my attention through my contact page.
Happy Holidays!
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