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Tacky Treasures Road Show 2009

Julie makes her entranceJulie makes her entrance

Another excellent Tacky Treasures Road Show took place on May 23, 2009. I made my usual stunning entrance at 9:00 p.m. This year's fashion statement? Purple hair, purchased at Kay Wig on Pennsylvania Avenue S.E. near the Library of Congress.

We had some fine entries. Thanks to all who participated, whether you entered an item, or just cheered the others on. That's what makes the show so much fun.

Thanks to Lynda Folwick and Liz Roll for the great photographs taken at the show.

First place: Sandy Bostian for the singing frog candy dish
First place: Sandy Bostian for the singing dissected frog candy dish

Second place: Liz Madden for the Spanish Surprise
Second place: Liz Madden for the Spanish Surprise

Third place: John and Ellen Schwab for The Pantyhose Craft Book
Third place: John and Ellen Schwab for The Pantyhose Craft Book

Fourth place: Ann Porcella for the inscrutable Chinese kitchen gadget
Fourth place: Ann Porcella for the inscrutable Chinese kitchen gadget

Fifth place: Lisa Bias for the Royal Flush toilet seat
Fifth place: Lisa Bias for the Royal Flush toilet seat

Singing frog candy dishSinging Dissected Frog Candy Dish

Singing Dissected Frog Candy Dish

Straight out of the Oh-My-God-What-Were-They-Thinking department comes this dish. Marketed as a Halloween item, the singing dissected frog candy dish was purchased by Sandy Bostian at the Giant supermarket, after Halloween when it was on sale. The frog sings, "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen."

I really think Halloween is more fun when they stick to the traditional scary stuff like ghosts, witches, and the occasional chainsaw-wielding maniac.

Spanish Surprise

Don Juan before Don Juan after

This was a crowd favorite. In fact, when we neglected to pass it around to the folks in the dining room, there was a loud protest. In this contest, you just can't go wrong with a penis-themed item. Way to go, Liz Madden!

The Pantyhose Craft Book

The Pantyhose Craft Book Pantyhose bathing suit

I have seen my share of 1970s-era craft books, but don't recall seeing anyone wearing the fashions. There's a good reason. As John Schwab puts it, "Notice that she's wearing dark glasses to protect her identity. And she's still not very happy about having nothing better to wear." The pantyhose halter isn't much more appealing.

Inscrutable Chinese Kitchen Gadget

Inscrutable Chinese kitchen gadget Hoka Hoka

Almost all of the text on the packaging is in Chinese. Therefore, we had to rely on the pictograms on the back to figure out what this was for. Oh, yeah. This cleared it right up. Click on the image to the right to see what else it was used for. Nice find by Ann Porcella.

Royal Flush Toilet Seat

Fifth place: Lisa Bias for the Royal Flush toilet seat
Royal Flush Toilet Seat

This was my personal favorite. Lisa Bias, of Seattle, Washington, entered this lovely item which she has in her bathroom. I am envious.

Note that the poker hand displayed across the middle is a Royal Flush. Indeed.

Now, on to the also-rans...

Pink Cowboy Hat

How nice it was that one of the entries coordinated so well with my hair! Sandy Bostian brought this cowboy princess hat back from Texas. It comes complete with a built-in tiara with flashing lights. (Photo by Liz Roll)

Anatomically Correct Turtles

These turtles look innocent enough, but turn them over, and you'll find they are "anatomically correct." That is, if you are a human in turtle form. These were one of my entries in the competition. I don't minded being bested by my friends...in fact, I encourage it!

Flip the turtles over

(Purchased at Possessions Recycled in Charlottesville, Virginia)

Don't Make Me Come Down There

At one point during the show, I realized that some of the attendees were still in the basement playing old-time tunes. In this photo, I appear to be saying, "Don't make me go down there and get you." When I left momentarily to find out what in the hell they were doing playing music when I, the Queen of Tacky, was holding court, they defended themselves by saying that there was no room left from which to see the show. I granted them a dispensation. (Photo by Liz Roll)

Assistant Bob

While I was in the basement reaming out the offenders, my assistant Bob carried on the show without me. Click on the image, and feel free to admire not only two of his paintings in the background, but the lovely Hawaiian shirt with ukuleles that I gave him for Christmas. (Photo by Liz Roll)

Two Kennedys Tapestry

This entry, by Polly Milius, gave me a case of déjà vu. We had one last year with only JFK and the Capitol and a flag. You'd think the extra Kennedy plus Lady Liberty would have helped, but it didn't. Nice try, Polly. (Photo by Lynda Folwick)

Jesus Saves Change Purse

Paula Flicker brought a little change purse with Jesus pictured on it. This is Jesus as if he was a hot dude being stalked by desperate women. The slogans on it include: "Be Net Worthy," "Be Noticed," "Lookin' Good for Jesus, Show HIM the Money," "Jesus Saves!," and my favorite, "He'll Oogle if You're Frugal." Available from Miss Poppy. (photo courtesy of Flickr member fertree33)

Two-Headed Sheep Bobble Head

Put this little two-headed sheep bobble head in the rear window of your vehicle, and I suspect that you won't have as much trouble with tailgaters. Entered by Liz Roll, who found it at Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe in Seattle. It sounds like my kind of place! (Photo by Liz Roll)

Pirate Pen Holder

Arrrr! Where be a pen when ye needs one? Old Gus here will guard your pens, and keep them in an upright position until ye needs them.

I can't imagine having this on my desk all the time. Until I got used to him, every time I saw his nearly life-sized head staring at me, it scared the bejesus out of me.

(Purchased at Possessions Recycled in Charlottesville, Virginia)

Wiener Dog ash tray

Bob Cantor calls this a Wiener Dog ash tray. As he put it on his entry form, "look underneath -- yes, it's that kind of wiener dog."

Look underneath!

(Purchased at Possessions Recycled in Charlottesville, Virginia)

Toilet Candy

Gee, thanks, John and Margaret, for leaving this candy gift for me at the Tacky Treasures Road Show.

The toilet bowl has candy powder in it which you use to cover your plunger-shaped lollipop by plunging the toilet with it. Then you lick it off the pop with your tongue. What an appetizing image!

Available at Candy Warehouse, among other places. When I pulled up their page on Sour Flush Candy, I also got a few shopping hints: "You might also like: Tower of Sour Candy Urine and Gummy Boo Boos Candy Scabs." I think NOT.

First place winner, Sandy Bostian, with her prize, a fez in the shape of a mug of beer.

(Note the many pencil sharpener paintings by Bob in the background.)

Also entered but not pictured:

  • A velvet Jesus painting (John Heins)
  • Something Abbie Grotke described as, "It's sort of an owl head coming out of a shell (at the top) and then the snail emerging from the cracked shell belly."
  • A tacky souvenir of a native woman playing a guitar with a lampshade on her head (Steve Smith)
  • A planter in the shape of a baked potato (John and Ellen Schwab)
  • and Liz Madden's birthday t-shirt, which must be seen, not described.
  • A bird house shaped like a golf bag (Polly Milius)

What makes the Tacky Treasures Road Show so special is all the people I know who have terrific senses of humor. Here's to you!

Photos of the audience by Lynda Folwick:


Copyright © 2000-2010, Julie Mangin. All Rights Reserved. April 2, 2016