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Tacky Treasures Road Show 2004

The 2004 Tacky Treasures Road Show was held on the Sunday of the Memorial Day weekend. Partygoers were encouraged to bring in their tackiest things for appraisal and possible prizes. Five entries were singled out for presentation to the group, and prizes were awarded.

Winning again in the category that she and Jumahl started in 2003 (Tacky Food Items) is Lynda Folwick for her cicada chocolates (Jumahl gets credit for building the tree). The Penis Pasta is her prize because one tacky food item deserves another.

Assisting me as emcee was the irrepressible Miss Molly. At left, she looks on as I extol the artistically kitschy value of this fake bronze Schlitz lamp (brought in by Michele Macomber).

At right, Molly demonstrates the "mooning man," the entry of my former roommate, Elizabeth Walkup. As you might guess, the suction cup is so that you can attach the man to the window of your car so you can moon other drivers.

My former roommate, Elizabeth, gave me the following "mooning man," who has a suction cup on his back so he can be stuck to the interior of a car window. Using a bulb to force air through a tube, you can make his pants go down, and thus moon other drivers without risking an indecency charge. Isn't technology grand?

See the Mooning Man in action!
(May require the free QuickTime movie player.)

Of course, one good moon deserves another, so this is what Elizabeth got as her prize.

Read more about this fabulous product, which promises to prevent "bum disease" through proper flossing.

Pete Marshall is responsible for the horse's ass mug, which will definitely also have to appear in "Mugs I'll Never Drink Out Of." Pete wins a bottle opener with the Irish toast on it.

The flattened-bottle ash tray was entered by Paul Tooley, who found it at Beckley's truck stop on Route 15 in Thurmont, Maryland. For his trouble Paul takes home the Milton & Bradley game, "Butt Ugly Martians," home for his kids. To quote Bill Schmidt: "Martians and hillbillies are the two ethnic groups that it's still okay to make fun of." And I think that's a truly tacky value to impart to one's children.